Thoughts about future and needs.

Now when I'm in such a good mood, I'm starting to think a lot about my future, what I want and what I need to do. It somehow seems much more easy to overcome and start up on, but I think that's make sense with feeling good.
I want to start doing something again, something productive, but also something that falls within my interests. This is something more short-term than the rest. But I just want to start doing something again, school or anything alike. Something that I won't feel like I've wasted time on after I'm done with it.
I don't remember if I wrote about this before, but I'm starting to think about - far out in the future though - to aim after a dietician degree. It's just a thought I'm playing around with for the moment, it's certainly not sure that I'll decide for it at all. But I'm thinking about it. My brother has a degree as a dietician, but decided later on that it wasn't what he wanted to do with his life. I might call him soon and just hear a little about his experiences with it and how it exactly works.
For now I need simple cash, and the money-help doesn't really seem to go anywhere. Even though I might rush into things and it can backfire, I'm thinking about getting a job. Just a few hours a few days each week to start with if possible at all to maintain this mindset and if it's possible to find a place to work. I'm scared that I might fall back if I rush into anything too quickly, but I'm also scared that I will fall back if I don't do anything else than spending time at home and with my friends due to the lack of structure for each day. If this mood continues into next week, I think I'm gonna contact my study guidance and hear her out.Getting a paycheck from whatever work that needs a need employee will be great.
Though it's not realistic right now, I'd like to be able to put money aside for my transition. I have to much debt to do that. But I want to start up again as soon as possible.

Transition-wise... I'm really looking forward for my voice to go deeper again. It dropped a bit the few months I was on T, but not a lot (after all, it was just a few months.) It still sounds female, but just a little lower than it was before I ever had tried testogel. But the voice is something I can't wait for, because I honestly want to smack myself in the face when I talk to people I don't know because of it.
I'd like to start saving up for top surgery (if it was possible for me to save up right now). Honestly I'm just really looking forward to the day they are gone. I'm looking forward to feeling comfortable with upper body naked. When I was on testosterone, they shrank quite a bit and I weighed more at that point, so I wonder how it will be when I start on it again at this weight..
My psychiatrist has told the staff at my residency (which they told me) that the reasons to my mental problems all stems from my gender identity, which I also don't doubt at all. The previous time I had a check-up with him, he told me that not being on hormones and continuing my transition just fuels my mental issues and basically "hurried" me into starting on T again. The last time I saw him about 2 weeks ago, I told him I hadn't come further into it, and then he told me that he wanted to slap me (meant with care, though!).
It's really about time for me to start up again. Really. I'm blocking myself from feeling the best I can about myself, by not being on it.
As soon as I quit smoking, I'm going back. (Hopefully that'll turn out to be soon.) I'm more or less just really fucking excited about that.

Moodwise, I'm doing really great. I'm trying out positive thinking as good as I can and think rationally about details that I might get sucked into. The things aren't even things that will matter for my future most of my time, then why put so many thoughts into it? It's working quite good. 
I have to keep focusing on the positive things in life and enjoy them instead of turning them into bad things.

Also, it's nice being able to think rationally about the future without wanting to be non-existent for a change. I'm actually looking forward to things right now.