But what did you expect?

I'm going to nomansland (also known as Tisvildeleje) from Sunday to Tuesday. It's a very small shed my residency owns, close to the seashore and far away from everything. I'm looking forward to it, I'm going to bring my telescopein the hopes of the weather will be okay so I can look at the stars at night time. I will probably also go for many long walks on the shore and warm up in front of the fireplace in the evenings. Some of my roommates are going too, and I'm looking forward to spend time with them since I haven't really talked with any of them for a long time despite living under the same roof. 


I'm starting to realise that I might be falling back into old habits and it's a scary thought. It's not normal to think about stuff like this most of the hours you're awake, it's not normal to keep yourself up at night because you need to finish off so you're "allowed" to give sleeping a try. I end up lying when I'm asked about the matter, and that's not okay in any way. A part of me thinks that what I'm doing is completely acceptable and far from being an issue, while the other and less dominating part is worried and scared. The last week I've been asked around everyday about it or been told that people are worried, and I keep shrugging it off because the dominant part of it is convinced that it's not serious. I honestly don't know if the submissive part of me is just being a complete dramaqueen or if it actually is something I should worry about and my head is just a mess right now when thinking about that particular subject.

I'll try to wake up earlier tomorrow so I can actually be active in the daytimes. I'm thinking about taking a long stroll through Copenhagen, like going to the top of Rundetårn and walk past Søerne and the like. If I actually manage to wake up early enough, I'm going to ask Emilia if she wants to go with me. I haven't had any contact with her today, feels weird. (sometimes I understand why people mistake us for a couple... but holy fuck, so wrong, so fucking wrong, hahaha!)