And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.

One of my brother's best friends through many years committed suicide a few days ago, and it plants a lot of thoughts in my head. He jumped from a secured roof top near Nørrebro around noon. Before he jumped, he wrote a message to two of his friends that he was going to jump, and it had nothing to do with them at all, but it was something he had chosen. The police arrived too late. He was 29 years old.

I wonder if it's ever possible to actually talk someone suicidal from taking their own life. Personally, I think that once you're set on the decision, no one can convince you to stay breathing. It's something the suicidal person have to convince themselves about, that they actually should stay alive. That no one can "save" you, their acts and words might help the person to finding the will to live, but most importantly the person needs to find their own values in life.
I just read that one million people takes their own life every year. It's a scary statistic, because that's a lot. It scares me that so many people have been pushed so close to the limit and ended up making the final decision. It scares me that I know so many who have tried to commit suicide and even more who have contemplated taking their lives. It also scares me that I'm contemplating for soon a decade.. If 1 million people actually take their lives in just a year, then how many consider it on a daily basis?
Many of my friends have attempted suicide, some of them more than once. I have a friend who's ex-girlfriend killed herself a few years ago, she was only 15 years old. I'm scared of ever losing someone. Some of those I know who've attempted or considered it are some of the most beautiful and heartfelt humans I've known. I wish I could take everything out of them and let them be content.
It's all so hypocritical of me to preach life when I haven't even found out my values for being here. But I hope everyone I know will stay...
There's a person in my life is having a really hard time and can't manage living, but he has told me that he wouldn't do it because he's been told to never quit. He doesn't want to be here, but I'm proud of him that he continues his fight and battles. It hurts to see him in so much pain, and I wish I could do something to help him, but it's not possible. I can comfort and try to be as much around his as possible, but I will never be able to take his illness out of him.

I wonder how the act of dying feels like, physically speaking. I wonder what really happens when you leave. I've always believed in reincarnation, but you never know and you probably never will. Maybe that's not really something to think about. The important thing is that you're here and still breathing.