The difference between medicine and poison is in the dose.

Emma and I. It was taken by Mikkel a month ago while we were in Tisvilde.

It's almost 3 AM, and I'm sitting at home while listening to the rain and enjoying a cigarette. Today has been one of the best nights I've had in a really long time. It's Mortens Aften (a Danish "half-holiday" which no one I've asked knows the reason of), so I was invited to eat at my boyfriend's family. It's a tradition to eat duck on Mortens Aften and luckily I absolutely love duck. In Denmark, it's quite rare to eat duck - only on Mortens Aften and Christmas Eve. Needless to say I ate myself silly, haha.
Then I spent a lot of the evening just cuddling up with Jonas and being our silly selves. I love how calm we both get when we're together. I don't write about him very often, but it's because we don't see each other that much these days. I'm so happy to have him in my life. We've been together for a year and a half in less than a month.

In other news, I walked 20 km with Emilia a few days ago. It's probably the worst idea we've ever had. It was cold, raining and in the middle of the night with sore feet. We walked from Frederiksberg station to Høje Taastrup station. There was no point in walking that far, it just started out as an short evening walk as we normally do when we hang out, but after a while it turned into a "how far can we go before quitting?"-walk. We got home at 3 AM and felt a bit like dying, haha.
I'm pretty sure it's the most stupid idea we've ever brought to life. All the other ideas we've had has usually had a point in it, but this one.... I have no idea why.

And some sad news - the doctor who has put many transpersons on hormones has decided to stop providing hormone replacement therapy. There's a reason why a good part of transpersons in Copenhagen got hormones from him - Sexologisk Klinik rarely accept people as transgender, let alone put them on hormones. If you've ever gotten any form of help from the psychiatric system in Denmark while being transgender, Sexologisk Klinik won't accept you because they see you as mentally unstable - despite getting the help from the psychiatric system many years ago.
I have a diagnosis and have spent a good while in the system, so unless they change their rules soon (their rules haven't changed since they opened their clinic 25 years ago), I will probably never get on testosterone again, unless I do something illegal to get them.
Those who have gotten their hormones from the mentioned doctor above for 5 years - they're forced to go off estrogen/testosterone for at least a year until Sexologisk Klinik "decides" if they're "trans enough" to go on hormones again. Even if they've been on hormones for years and have only gotten happier - they will still be forced to quit for at least a year.
I can't really manage thinking about my own situation - the doctor I mentioned above was the one who gave me my testosterone prescription, and the chance of me ever getting accepted at Sexologisk Klinik is so small. I'm trying not to think about it at all right now because I'm already under a lot of stress and this will not help in any way at all. I'm just going to avoid thinking about it as good as I can.

I'm okay right at this moment, I feel content and it's probably because I was together with Jonas. And as you can guess, I called the rawfood-thing off for now, but hopefully I can do it soon.
I can't sleep, so I'm thinking about finishing a painting I've worked on, write a little if I can get the right words out, do a light workout or maybe writing a new entry with a theme. Let's see if I actually get to do one of the things, I rarely don't.