This entry contains a lot of writing about my new class and positivity.

Life is kind of quiet in a good sense. I try to push the bad things out of my head, and right now I find it quite working, so I'm really happy about that. Even though school has just started I can already feel just some slight changes in my mood and energy levels. It's nice to have a reason to wake up again instead of sinking deeper into the bed. It's also really nice that the class is so calm and far from demanding. Most people hate jobs and studies that doesn't challenge them, but right at the moment it's what I need and I'm really fond of this class right now. I don't really think I should call it a class to be honest, because it's more like a place that tries to give you the will to try living again, however lame that may sound. It's more personal things here and if you don't feel like doing what the others are doing, you don't have to. It's nice that they don't demand anything else than taking things in your own pace.

Today I woke up and felt like there was no point in anything, which resulted in not getting out of my bed and just sat there doing nothing. One of the staff members of my residency came up and helped me getting my butt kicked out of my room and taking babysteps towards school, starting with "well, what about a cup of coffee? We can go outside and sit in the sun" and things like that. In the end I got out and went to school, so I'll have to make a note for myself of how important it is to simply just do it even though it feels impossible. My mood was really good when I actually got to school.
Sadly they had just stopped painting and being creative when I got there, but it was a nice day nonetheless. We went for a long walk in the park and just talked with each other.
When I got home, I went to the gym with Camilla, so I'm sure my body will hurt tomorrow.

But yeah, overall I think my mood is good and I have energy to do things right away. I've even read some chapters in a book, haha.
Still dealing with crazy bad self-esteem and self-worth which kind of handicaps me in some situations and makes me avoid certain things. Not a good thing, but the circumstances and mood is great anyway. I don't really want to write about negative thoughts right now, in case it'll put me down. It's mostly the negative thoughts about myself that bothers me, but trying not to let them reach me. I'm just glad that I'm starting to be awake during daytime and that I'm actually doing something now. It's really nice to feel like you're somewhat active. I'm in a great mood right now. Looking forward to sleeping soon.