Going back on testosterone?

Short update.

My psychiatrist I see every 3rd month for a quick follow-up (haven't been on meds for over a year) told me something that I never occured to me at all in my wildest dreams. My mood is kind of elevated now haha.
We talked a bit about hormones, and why I stopped. I told him that I had been depressed and everything seemed pointless, and that when I'm starting to feel better I'll go back on testosterone. He then told me that the reason why I now feel bad might be because I'm kind of in no place - I don't identify as a female, and I'm not what society would call a male yet. Kind of a no-mans-land. And that now when I feel depressed about all those thing, isn't it kind of like pulling myself into depression unconciously?
It really got me thinking, I hadn't thought about it before.
I still feel bad and most of my reasons why are because of my gender. I don't know why I hadn't thought about that thing about dragging myself further down when I'm not on hormones. But it all makes sense.
With that said, I'm gonna kick myself in the ass and stop smoking from tomorrow. By next week I'm going back on testosterone, because there's really no reason to drag myself more down, is there?

And an unrelated note, I'm going to get a different haircut and dye my hair later today, because I can.