I still taste that sickness

So things are weird these days and kind of hectic since I recently wrote here. Mild summary; Saturday I was aggravated by some things happening in my head aswell as a situation between a loved one and I concerning hypocrisy. Then I went to a dinner at my mum's place since my brother just returned from Marocco, but my mother was feeling angry about everything and decided to leave before the dinner even started, so it was just my brother, sister and I. It was nice seeing them both and hearing about his trip.
My mum returned home after my brother left somewhere during the early night. It has been years since I have seen her snap that way as she did that night, from the moment she walked through the door there wasn't a word she wasn't actually yelling out loud, everything was loud and harsh. After a while I started to panic because it brought back a lot of memories from the past that I usually try to surpress, so I left. The last bus home had just driven off and I had forgot my bank card at my mum's, so I walked for a long time in the freezing cold with a cellphone just about to die from low battery. Jonas was out with some friends in Copenhagen and talked me into going home with him so I wasn't alone. I spent the night and Sunday together with him relaxing.
I skipped school yesterday because Jonas was finally permitted to the rehab/psychiatric ward he has been on waiting list for the past months. He needed support so he didn't feel alone there, so I spent most of the day there with him before returning home to myself at 7 PM. I really hope that he decides to stay there this time, though I understand that it's scary being so far away from everyone and that it's hard for him (no shit).
I returned home and met up with Emilia briefly, and after that I had a talk with my stand-in contact person here at my residency about my weight and the issues about it. She had booked an acute meeting with my psychiatrist for today because she wasn't sure how bad my state is. I told her it was all too soon and sudden with the appointment with my psychiatrist, so after a long talk we decided to reschedule it and move the appointment to next week. She's going to talk with him alone today though, and it's okay with me, it was just a little too sudden if I were to talk with him about it today. I'm scared about everything and I'm scared of what he decides for me. I'm probably going to make an entry about the body/weight issues later today so I can get some thoughts out about it, so you few readers I have are warned now.

So life is hectic.