may I bud and never flower

I'm taking a quick break from cleaning the apartment, there's not much left anyway by now. I've cleaned the dishes, cleant the whole kitchen, thrown all the Ikea boxes out and put things where they're supposed to be, so the only thing I'm missing is vacuuming my living room. It's getting really nice by now, despite the entire apartment being really small, but I actually think the decoration and the way I've put my furniture helps.
I went to Ikea yesterday and bought a desk, so I have more space for all the shit I don't know where to put now.

Around noon I went to the doctor with Emilia since she had to get some samples taken and she was quite nervous about it. She'll get the results in week, and I really hope it's nothing serious. After that we got some coffee at a café nearby and had a good rage-talk.
Jonas is coming over in a few hours, we'll probably just chill and have a relaxing time together. Our 2 years anniversary was just a few days ago. It's really weird to think that we've been together for so long, because on one hand it feels like much longer and at the same time like much less time. I'm happy about it nonetheless.

I don't really have much to write about. Life is good, I'm in a good mood most of the time and I'm enjoying it all. I'm sleeping well, waking up at 9 AM naturally, I'm social everyday and I feel like I get some sort of positive response out of every day that passes.

I've been neglecting food a bit for a while, not because of any disordered thoughts, but out of not having enough money, being too tired or because I've been out with friends so I didn't have access to making myself a meal. It's annoying, because I really want to eat more, especially because if I don't eat enough, my workouts will be pointless and harmful instead. It's just that I can always figure out something I find more important - maybe I'm a hurry to visit someone, I'm out in town, too tired to prepare a whole meal, maybe I'm cleaning - overall I just don't feel like I have time for it, at least if it's a whole meal and not just some bread or fruit. Which of course has resulted in my weight getting a bit lower once again, so I'm somewhere around 50 kg at the moment unless I've lost more (which I don't believe I have). When I got weighed last week, it was 50 at least, so I'm not really sure where I am, and it doesn't really matter. I just need to allow myself to sit down and make time for food.
So that's the only thing I'm frustrated about.

I don't think I'll write as often as I used to - as said, I don't really have much time on my hands these days. When I actually have the time to write an entry, I'm usually too tired (night time is pretty much the only time during the day where I don't have some sort of plans).